Old
by Secret Epoch
Summary: Tifa and Cloud have to deal with the fact that they're not getting any younger, so what do they do? Try to act 'hip'.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7 or GOOGLE and hopefully they won't sue me for mentioning them in my story.**

* * *

Old

The bar was closed today. She didn't have to open it 24/7. A bottle of liquid was in her hand and a shot glass was in the other.

I came up to her.

"Tifa, you should stop drinking."

"It's only Gatorade." She turned the bottle and showed me the Gatorade logo on the front.

"oh." I just stay quiet after that embarrassing mistake. She wasn't drunk at all even. "Wait, why do you have a shot glass then?"

"Makes me look cool," I don't know why she even tries. "I'm not getting any younger you know. Next time you see me I'll be an ugly old bat."

"But you're only 22!" I don't understand what lead this on. "I'm older than you!"

"It's okay to be ancient Cloud, I'm getting there myself." She gives me a reassuring pat on the back.

"This isn't about your upcoming birthday is it?" May 3, I remembered it this time.

"Yuffie told me the older you get, everything sags!" everything?! Even hands and feet? "And your hair slowly falls off and never grows back!" I found several strands lying near the drain in the shower…blond strands.

"Pretty soon, Denzel will be signing us in Nursing Homes and (Gasp!) a nurse name Mary-Sue will come in my room and give me my daily medications."

"You take medications?"

"Advil!" she glared at me. "To stop the pains in my muscles."

"You have muscle pains?" how come she didn't tell me?

"No, but I could prevent them now," she was looking at me weirdly. "You know Cloud, you're not exactly 20 anymore, you want to borrow some?"

What does she mean by that? Do I look 50? Is my wrinkles showing? You can totally see the white hair can't you. Those liver spots are actually just freckles!

"Tifa…I'm old!" I sobbed like I never sobbed before.

Tifa stroked my head comfortingly.

"Aww, poor Cloud, you finally realized this," then she forced me to look her in the eye. "Get yourself together man! It's okay, we'll get through this together I promise you."

"How?" I asked pathetically. My eyes were probably red.

"I already got us both a plan," I don't like the sound of this. "You see, I figure you and I both would be retiring in a few years and we'll be making less gil of course too soooo…if we let Denzel get a job in forestry, I'm sure they pay well and Marlene can help in the bar, of course not for another 6-7 years and you can do a few extra odd jobs, like something in the "entertainment" industry while I watch TV on the couch, we can totally make it!"

What…the…hell…

"I didn't really get that."

"But it made so much sense in my head." she hung her head in disappointment.

"You know Tifa, we don't need a plan, that's for old boring people. What we need is to act more young, gangster. You know what those youngster's say these days?"

"What?"

"Actually I don't know but we have a computer in this house don't we? Let's just GOOGLE it and learn the 'New Wave'"

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

4 hour later…

Denzel and Marlene ran inside, "Tifa! Cloud! We're home!"

Tifa and I walked out of the shadows and greeted them. I had on baggy pants I found in our attic and an over size white T-shirt that said 'Bling!' twice. Tifa put on a fitted hat and a skin tight red T-shirt that said 'juicy' in the front and 'hotness' in the back and Capri's with suspenders hanging at the sides.

"Wassup homie G. I'm T to the tissle and this is C to the..um..cassie?" I smacked my head with my hands. Tifa messed up our opening speech.

"No Tifa, it's T to the tissle, C to the Cisay, and do that hand motion thingy." I showed her the hand motion thingy that's really hard to describe in words so you'll just have to use your imagination.

"Are you guys alright?" Denzel spoke up. He and Marlene looked frightened.

I jumped in. "Yo! Of course we are my home skillet biscuit fo shizzle!"

The kids just stared at us like we're loony's. Ungrateful youngins, we're even speaking their language.

"Did something happen? Why are you guys acting like this?"

I was about to answer when Tifa pushed me aside. That son of a gun! She's gonna ruin operation "dope off da heezy"

"Eh dude, what's ur biz huh? We just tryin' at bein' cool. Why yal gotta go trippin' on our…um…dizzle? My home boy here and I are jus' keeping it rizzle nizzle, we ain't got no beef with yal anyway." …I don't think Tifa is using these slang's right…

The kids just looked at us weirdly. I am not a zoo animal. "Alright, yal are jus' starin but I'm down with that, it's what them cool kids doin these days right?"

Marlene, the smart one spoke first. "Are you guys trying to be 'hip'?" yep, definitely the smart one.

"Hey Cloud, we didn't learn the word 'hip', let's add it to our vocabulary!" she raised her hand for a high five. I just stared at it dumbly.

"Aw, c'mon don't leave me hangin'."

I finally gave up. "Tifa, I don't think this is making us any younger, it makes us look foolish. Let's just admit it, we're worn-out heroes that are looking for something that was taken away when we were little, our adolescent years."

"No! Don't you dare say that-well you already did but DON'T SAY IT AGAIN, " Tifa fumed. "Anyways, I'm not even that old, why do I need to pretend that I'm young when I already am?"

What?! Is she contradicting what she said earlier?

"Bu-but you were…and complaining…and old…I'm confused."

Tifa sighed and took me in her arms. "Oh, my poor Cloud, that was just a phase everybody goes through when they're getting older, it eventually passes."

"YOU MEAN THAT I, FOR FOUR HOURS GOOGLED ALL THOSE SLANG'S FOR NOTHING?! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH JUNK SHOWS UP IN THE FIRST FEW PAGES?!" **(Mme L: Really though, Google is an awesome search engine.)**

"Not exactly nothing," she scratched the back of her head nervously. "I mean you entertained me and it was fun spending time with my dear childhood friend. You know, in a way we were playing dress up…without the tea party though."

I glared at her and huffed.

"Don't be like that Cloud, you had fun too didn't you?"

I did.

But that doesn't matter, she took advantage of my benevolentness(WOW, I didn't know I knew such a hard word.) and made me feel like I was old.

Poke.

No reaction.

Poke.

No reaction.

Poke poke.

"WHAT!?" I screamed. Tifa, Denzel and Marlene flinched. Oh yah, I forgot the kids were still here.

"I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with us for ice cream?"

That was so random. But ice cream sounded good! But I'm mad!

"No."

"Aw, don't be such a poor sport Cloud." Tifa pouted in such an adorable way that even I Cloud must succumb to her.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

20 gil for 4 ice cream cones? What a rip off! But man does that creamy texture feel nice…

BAM! My ice cream flew out of my hand.

Ouch, someone bumped into me really hard.

"Watch it old man!" a teenage boy snapped at me.

Old? …but, but

My bottom lip was trembling and my eyes were threatening to shed tears.

"TIFA!" I cried.

"What happened Cloud, did you fall? Did you scrape your knee? Are there any booboos on you? Do I have to kiss anything better?"

I pointed at the kid that was walking the other way.

"He called me 'Old Man'." I whimpered.

"Oh boy, okay let's take you home now."

From that day on, no one was aloud to mention the word old, elderly, or anything that has wrinkles around Cloud again. He also doesn't celebrate his birthday anymore either.

* * *

**I really didn't feel like rereading this over for errors so there might be some, hopefully not too noticable.**


End file.
